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Eighteen months of horror began, a period when my mood swings reached depths that I had never before
experienced and ones that I hope I will never experience again. How could I do this to my wife, the person I
loved more than anything in the world? I fought the truth for a couple of months, but finally, and inevitably, I
had to accept what I had to do and take the consequences. The only alternative was suicide, an alternative that
was never out of my mind. Linda, amazingly, stood beside me and despite; or perhaps because of; people
telling her that she should leave me, determined herself to see this through with me. She made no promises,
but without her I would not have survived those awful months. Yet it was so much worse for her. She was
loosing her husband and nothing could ever replace that. Her strength was amazing and her loyalty was so
much greater than I could ever have hoped.
In early 1999, I went to see my GP. To put it bluntly he was totally unhelpful and downright ignorant of my
condition. He told me that he wouldn’t help me and that if I wanted to do anything about it I’d have to go
private. So that’s what I did. I went to see a lady who had vast experience of Gender Dysphoria (as it was
called then). She also saw Linda, and told us both of the problems we would have to endure if I took that path.
She offered to give me an introduction to a psychiatrist who specialised in gender identity issues.
